_______________________________ That’s the “fill in with typical opening statement” blank where you get to put what you know I’m going to say, namely “I'm so sorry it's been such a long time since I've written! I can hardly believe how time is flying!” But regardless, life keeps on going, I’m sure you can relate. Something perhaps less predictable or relatable is that I’m currently suspended, along with a massive piece of metal, in mid air! (I’m flying to Portland) It’s been nice to have some time to step outside campus and think back on the past few months. It is interesting to see the splattered assortment of random experiences begin making up a hazy picture of my journey thus far.
Spring Break arrived about 4 days too late thanks to my poor prioritizing, making it a grossly welcome relief from the stress of midterms. Mom arrived the same day, a gratefully welcomed refreshment. Our first night we walked the beach and I was glad to later find the species called “kids” (as in a small individual dwelling outside the college environment) has yet to become extinct. I know this because I got to swim with some at the hotel that night, and I got my first boyfriend. The next day I took mom to church and we wandered around a beautiful Boston on the verge of spring.
It was nice to see nature again and Mom and I were able to get our Old Building Fix.
For another sort of major subject, I was accepted into the Music Therapy program and will begin taking classes for the major in the Summer. I'm having doubts again, but I think the practicums (going to different facilities and actually practice the therapy) will settle things for me. I think about Kenya a lot, and the whole clinical situation, and wonder if it's really what I should be doing, but I've critically examined the situation and upon much pondering am currently considering the possibility that I just might be prone to hyper-analysis.
I tried to insert a video of my ensemble midterm here but it wouldn't upload :(.
One last point on March before I go would be the inspiration I'm gaining everywhere I turn. Unexpected experiences keep taking place that help me to understand music and consequently, my self. My fellow students are particularly responsible for this, as several people are cheering me on to find my passion. Here's a clip from my journal about one of them:
It was something I'd never considered. Like I'd stepped into his mind. And it now it was me who was handicapped as I sat like a foreigner in a new region of my native country. My feet rested dumbly on strange ground never seen by its owner. The swirling grained stokes of wood floor stood solemn and dutiful like a beautiful house maid. Three bare tight white walls, a narrow bay window, a futon slid into the back corner, and a heaping table without order and without junk. The blinds recoiled only as far as the window stood open. What need was there for anything more? Cables lay across the floor like silent, invisible snakes of another dimension. Come to think of it, it is quite remarkable that he was able to remember the location of his every possession in sheer blackness. I wonder what life looks like behind his eyelids. I wonder what he sees. There were no visual cues as to what sort of place I was in, other than their absence.
I felt something though I didn’t recognize it at the time. I felt like receptors began waking all over me. I began to listen; to feel. To see with my ear and hand and skin and mind. It’s beautiful. It’s beautiful to exist. Even the breeze has color and a conversation wears form beyond the reach of the eye. Like wax down a candle, or perhaps like antlers on a dear, time marked it’s path and some immaturity was shed inside me. I’m glad to loose it. “A musician must listen, it’s important.” And suddenly that was all that was left.
My friends have been wonderful to me beyond words from their varied roles in my life, each one so very different and sweet.
And so life continues! Crazy isn't it?!
Thanks so much for reading!
